lørdag den 28. april 2012

Cyberbully - an unbelievable story!

Two years ago I got "reported" to the Social Wellfare by a person that claimed I was IQ fixated and thus harming my children. BUT the difference was that this time there was an email I recognised. The email was one belonging to a mother I knew, a mom that also had a 2e kid! A mom that had home schooled since she had no choice, a mom that worked hard to help her kid. Not a Cyberbully, not a crazy person - but somebody that was extra helpfull. I never understood WHY she did it. She of all people knew how life with a 2e kid was. And, yesterday she told me what had happended. How it happened.

YESTERDAY this 2e mom, that I met on internet through her own story, WROTE to me on Facebook and told me her IDENTITY was STOLEN in 2010. I was shocked - she said it was a friend, one she now has excluded, that got jealous and used her email account to harm her reputation! All this time I had blocked her on Facebook, so we had no idea what monster that email became ...

Since the writing style and wording from her email was similar to many anonymous reports about me, I was very shocked. The reports were sent to the Wellfare electronically. I was honest, each and every time, and said it was lies. BUT nobody believed me. So, when I got a copy of this email, I had no idea what I was about to see. The Social Wellfare came to my home, unanounced. We sat in my Garden wheile my children was upstairs watching TV. When I got the emails I was unprepared and I just started crying - crying and my intense personality convinced the Wellfare Socialworker that I was a nutcase. Her need to find me mentally ill, since that was what was written in the email made her forget that I was a person that had feelings. She had the sole option to either believe me or NOT.

The Wellfares social worker did not believe me, the Police however did. Unfortunately the Wellfare and the Police do not "talk" unless there is violence involved. And since the email jsut told them I was a nutcase nothing could be done. So, the Police said: We have to wait until something happens AGAIN - until there was MORE proof, there was just not enough to warrant an investigation. I lived in fear, in fear of the Wellfares choices. But most of all in fear what faceless people can do, if they wanted to.

This is how INTERNET sparked CYBERBULLING and STALKING situation that sparked a tremendous investigation into every aspect of my personal life and that of my childrens. An investigation that was feuled by quite a number similar emails to the Social Wellfare.

I have always known the owner of the last emails Identity, but that day I got told about it, in those months I could not, in my survival mode, needing help for my 2e kid fight that battle as well as the worst battle of them all: Once the Wellfare has a case it just grows and grows.

And I did not I know how to contact that mom from whoms email the report came - see I stopped all communication with her about 2 years before, and then my telephone got stolen in town, incidently the same evening we had a Second Hand Sale to raise funds for our school. I could not just call and ask about the email, and she dropped off the Internet due to some harresment and has a secret address. Somehow I did not want to write to her. I was scared that she might think I am hassersing her - and make the Wellfare case worse. See, it was all FATE, small incidents not at all connected - but with huge implications for all of us involved.

YESTERDAY this 2e mom WROTE to me on Facebook and told me her IDENTITY was STOLEN. I was shocked - she said it was a friend, one she dropped, that got jealous and used her email account to harm her reputation!

So, I decided to hide all aspects of her IDENTITY and make this blog post. So parents can protect themselves and what the law gives them of possibilities. AND to let people know how their email, Facebook account, stuff they write in blogs and forums ect. can be abused. And nobody believes you while it happens.

If only I knew way back then - but heck I had no idea. I would never have believed a thing like this could happen. UNTIL it happended to ME ... I still feel like I am dreaming. But I have all the screen dumps and saved them. Online, and offline. The few people by my side are in as big a shock as I am. If only we had talked. Internet, removes that very importand part.

When the first round of Internet "complaints" feuled calls to the Social Wellfare in 2006/7, I STUPIDLY asked for help ON THE INTERNET and that set off a number more complaints really confusing the Social Wellfare, but the worst was people writing to me in private and scolding me, screaming what an indecent abusing person I was - that my child needed HELP and I was abusing him by not giving him Medical care. I became a person that did not care about my childrens needs. I could not defend myself - just get all the psychology reports, find a school and keep at it - when the school personal changed it just made my life harder. And rumours from us being family under investigation from Social Services, made it easy for everybody to judge us. 

With school I was not lucky, again something feuling the Social Services. The school I knew this 2e mom from closed, it went bankrupt - she mentions that in her Facebook chat. And we coincidently went to another school where both our kids got severely bullied before my family moved here, and they moved in the opposite direction. We did not talk, not realise our children got bullied. Unfortunately our last schools staff change forced me to homeschooling, while a new school is being looked for, and actually made me realise with very special 2eKids homeschooling is the best option. Weirdly this mom also homeschooled a few times, and agrees with me. It has been some crazy years. With weird stuff that happened.

And suddenly - with one Facebook chat it turns out the hell is over: Identity Theft? I would never have believed that unless it happened to me! I very nearly blocked her, on Facebook as I had been doing since that day the Social Wellfare came - out of fear - and would not have had the knowledge I have now.

I guess the cat is out the bag now ... and the rest? Well, hopefully we will get the official channels to register this kind of behaviour and in time have a solution for this kind of craziness. Our story is history - the damage has been done.

The clown on the screendumps is to the person behind the emails: 

He who laughs last, laughs the longest.

All I can do is openly tell people and not release her name so she does not get slain on the Internet for not saying something earlier. No point in feuling, what was done to me. And maybe this story can make other people realise that they must be carefull judging other peoples actions unless they were there.

The Police opened a case in 2010 and left it open. To safegaurd me "just in case". On monday the case is closed. And from now on,  in about two years time, all this will be removed from our Social Wellfare journals - false accusations via emails are LUCKELY for us is under the "law of digital documentation", where removal is allowed and enforced.

Normally, in Social Wellfare cases the state only makes a note about the so called mistake, leaving the original notes to be read and used again and again. But since this is due to "Identity Theft" and abuse of email - I am lucky. It's just going to take a long time - I am patient, often too patient.

One thing is for sure - I learned every aspect of the law - who would have thought that is required just to help a 2e kid? I would never have believed it. And Internet saviours ... heck be carefull with your personal stuff! I am out there in the open - no point in hiding anymore once it has happened.

Just be carefull, by all means write about yourself, your kids and all that. BUT always protect information that can be abused. And remember: Internet Angels helping Gifted moms and children are out there - they have blogs. Blogs they use their free time to spread the word about how to help Gifted Children and especially blogs that keep other moms sane. Thank-you for being there.

Hopefully this person now will stop "CYBER STALKING".  It has been a really crazy time. And now the people that kept trying to convince me of the help they thought I needed due to the grapevine can realise: I did not lie, but sure as hell it is/was a mess. It's a matter for the Police - and I am free at last. 

It's a big moment!

The crucial parts of the email can be read in this pdf file here, just copy the adress to your browser: http://www.scribd.com/hilde_buys/d/91568140-Image

The Jester is to the Person that stole an Innocent moms life and abused it, as well as the lives of the people around her. A good thing Internet never forgets, EVER!

Twice Exceptional Denmark

Twice Exceptional Denmark er lavet for dobbelt exceptionelle børn dvs. børn med særlige forudsætninger som samtidig har indlæringsvanskeligheder. Disse børn kan have opmærksomheds-, koncentrations- og kontakt- vanskeligheder som oftest er pga. Ordblindhed/ Dyslexi, ADHD, AS, PDD NOS, OCD, Tourette osv.

Det ofte set at Børn med særlige forudsætninger er af natur Asynkron Udviklet dvs. det halter med at deres emotionelle og sociale udvikling følger med det som ses ved jævnaldrende, samtidig med at de lærer lynhurtigt det emner de er motiveret for og ender således ofte foran jævnaldrende i disse oråder, uden sparringspartner. Børnene ender ofte meget ”misforstået” og en tværfagligindsats er nødvendig hvis sådan en situation skal kunne vendes.

Tværfaglighed bør bestå af en BMSF konsulent/psykolog og derudover specialister jvf. barnets specifikke diagnoser og andre problemer hver gang handleplaner udarbejdes, barnets evalueres osv. Men der er langt vej endnu, da BMSF ikke anerkendes i Kommunerne, og dermed overses det at barnet har behov for en ”særlig” forståelse og indsigt for at børnene kan få den rette hjælp jvf. Socialloven og Inklusion.

Men desværre ses disse børn i AKT forløb, heldagsskoler og kan ende i Udsatte grupper:

De unge, som kommer til opholdsstederne, har været vanskelige at placere i de kommunale tilbud, hvor hverken de unge, som kommer til opholdstederne eller de elever, der går i de kommunale tilbud, vil profitere af at være sammen.