søndag den 17. februar 2013

Being asynchron and dyslexic: Misunderstood ... double trouble ...

http://www.cde.state.co.us/sites/default/files/documents/gt/download/pdf/twiceexceptionalresourcehandbook.pdf

My just turned 11 year old 2e kid is in foster care since his 2e behaviors and asynchron development is not understood. I got investigated by CPS since they assumed I was the cause and thus looked for the problem by blaming me for not being able to care for his Mental health thus causing his problems. Their proof was hypothesis like he now scores low on IQ tes because the mother does not talk to him ect., alas the psychologist has no idea of previous reports and got loads of paperwork describing my "behavior" written by people that was taken to the cleaners when I complained as the case developed over 7 years. She never saw me, and I am actually glad since the situation was just "crazy" enough.


Since they took him with no warning he has become suicidal, has violent tantrums that they treat with holding him until he shows them he wants to be held and hugged that they refer to as "for his own safety", shouting they say is an external restraining technique ect. These treatments are legally allowed since the home he is in has a §66 and §67 certificate that allows this in "severe cases". The catch is the home ONLY deals with behavior problems as mentioned above and have no idea they are making his behavior worse, while they are trusted to have tried everything else - see there is a kind of "trust" that professionals are aware of their methods and they realize when to call in for help.

I did infor them that previously it was discovered what works and does not work and asked them to contact a range of people that knows him and his history - I was smart enough to realise that I as the "accused" have no say in the case from now onwards. The socialworker and the home ignored me since they are the professionals.

The result is that he now smashes his room - that he has never ever done - actually he is a child that never breaks toys on purpose and is even more upset afterwards. Sadly that results in more of the above treatment. The Fostercare system refuses to work with any Gifted Psychologist nor therapist nor teachers that know him ... The horror lives on and on while nobody cares to or even is able to "understand". Sadly they tell me to do as the system says in order to get him out of there.


See if that had worked then he would not be in that situation. The system would have provided  a team, the sae team they had paid for before, to continue working on hi with e while calling in the Dyslexia specialists. Alas that was too expensive, sadly I can see that what they are spending now is more than his whole schooling would have cost if he got that at home with a one on one teacher. And this is only the first 4 months - so much for being cost effective!

See, when I look back it can be clearly seen I was able to work with solutions about 50% of the time since he turned 4. That was when the problems started for real after we changed daycares, with after violence from peers and him reacting back (he was at age level7 mentally and 2 emotionally) whenhe did not hide somewhere to get away from it all. His favourite hideout was at the local store ... packing sweets ... or in the sandpit across the road fro the daycare, alone. How nobody missed him was never explained but with them treating his with violence I eventually removed him.

 
Since then I have managed to remove him from crazy treatment plans, win the few cases I had the energy to complain about. This has been my life for the last 7 years, without a lawyer since I could not afford one. I even used my pensionfund savings to pay for his school. That was a huge sucess.

Now they have taken him into a Foster home claiming "child abuse" that they investigated by isolating him in a desolate cottage for 8 weeks, with 6-10 different people taking care of him. Nobody was trained in sensitive child pedagogy, nor dyslexia and they secured "their" paperwork by excluding the professionals that made a difference, people that knew us for some years. He was seen by "their" psychologist for 1½ hours. She that had no idea about the above said restraining methods, nor his history ect.

Nobody in the system dares to say stop, nobody can. Our socialworker is the sole person deciding his treatment instructed by her colleagues and orders created by Foster Care Systems mainly for criminal, abused or violent kids. Her power even overrides our GP that refuses get involved - and my child is suffering. He is living with 14 - 23 yr criminals at age 11. He is not going to school, even though their psychologist report said he can go and all he needs is dyslexia treatment way back in november. I bet that is not explained in court tomorrow, actually there is no tie to explain that since the case is focused on how bad a mother I am, not his needs!

She was unaware of his previous school suces or failures and the behaviors that "came about" in foster care. Sadly I fear he will end up in an "internal" special school run by the same Foster System. My fear stems from that I have realised as with the legal restraining, the schools are also evaluated internally ect. And fro our Public School experience where his LD needs were called "bad parenting" I am panicking. Sadly all this is directed by the same people that misunderstood his Asynchron Developement. Eventhough it has been desribed and diagnosed by 3 psychologists as well as people that are trained and that work with Gifted Kids (although they had not experience with his particular reading disability that was double huge because of trauma and dyslexia, and suspected ADD that I think was a sign of severe trauma - our reports are far and few and disregarded by the Foster care system)


As a mother labelled with child abuse I have no say in this matter. Quite frankly I am appalled that criminal and abused children get the above treatment - I am horrified that this can happen to a child with known handicaps ... the shock of the whole situation has left me unable to handle, the amount of paperwork churned out and sent to me with a few days notice was enough to immobilize me.

All I can do now is pray that the lawyer is as good as I hope. Alas both lawyers have said we can only take care of ourselves emotionally and get ready for court in another 2-3 months. My kids, especially the youngest wont cope that long ... it has taken 4 months to get through the first step in "complaining" that they are using violence to treat him, when his history clearly indicates other behavioral plans that worked very well. I am horrified that people work at a desk and just let mothers know you are part of a pile ... children with behavior problems takes years to recover from a few weeks of indecent treatment. Nobody here would allow animals to be mistreated!

His sister is at least with people that are not violent, but that are symptomising her in many ways, while missing her needs completely - luckly she knows where to call for help, and is old enough to do so.
She is coping alot better that she herself is aware of and I am so proud of her. It stumps me that they are all so sure of that they are Masters - and surprises me that nobody dares use any of the professionals that know my children. But what really really horrifies me is the total TABU when it comes to them reporting that a child is asking an adult to stop using violence ... that I will never understand, ever. And have a bitter taste in my mouth when I see them covering their crude judgement by describing it as great judgemet, not to mention how they do it all calmly - believing themselves in their lies.

No child should experience anything like my kids have had to. I am surprised it has happened and can only hope that somebody notices and stops it. Sadly, my hopes are only dreams since I can see that as far as all the newspaper talk about school quality and minimal use of restraining has actually only come as far as written reports. Nobody dares to take any responsiblity and say: STOP

And the people that are doing it, well they are the most convincing I have ever seen. Sadly parents are on the side, inexperienced and eventually end up traumatised - finaly I understand why most parents just deny their kid is suffering. It's a coping skill.

Twice Exceptional Denmark

Twice Exceptional Denmark er lavet for dobbelt exceptionelle børn dvs. børn med særlige forudsætninger som samtidig har indlæringsvanskeligheder. Disse børn kan have opmærksomheds-, koncentrations- og kontakt- vanskeligheder som oftest er pga. Ordblindhed/ Dyslexi, ADHD, AS, PDD NOS, OCD, Tourette osv.

Det ofte set at Børn med særlige forudsætninger er af natur Asynkron Udviklet dvs. det halter med at deres emotionelle og sociale udvikling følger med det som ses ved jævnaldrende, samtidig med at de lærer lynhurtigt det emner de er motiveret for og ender således ofte foran jævnaldrende i disse oråder, uden sparringspartner. Børnene ender ofte meget ”misforstået” og en tværfagligindsats er nødvendig hvis sådan en situation skal kunne vendes.

Tværfaglighed bør bestå af en BMSF konsulent/psykolog og derudover specialister jvf. barnets specifikke diagnoser og andre problemer hver gang handleplaner udarbejdes, barnets evalueres osv. Men der er langt vej endnu, da BMSF ikke anerkendes i Kommunerne, og dermed overses det at barnet har behov for en ”særlig” forståelse og indsigt for at børnene kan få den rette hjælp jvf. Socialloven og Inklusion.

Men desværre ses disse børn i AKT forløb, heldagsskoler og kan ende i Udsatte grupper:

De unge, som kommer til opholdsstederne, har været vanskelige at placere i de kommunale tilbud, hvor hverken de unge, som kommer til opholdstederne eller de elever, der går i de kommunale tilbud, vil profitere af at være sammen.