Xmas is a hard time in our home. December 2012 and 2013 we experienced the other side of foster care - when courts don't listen - when judges and the people put in court to protect us carry out thier job with prejudism rather than investigating claims of irregularities. November 2012, while my children were put into isolation in a holiday home that was closed for winter in order to investigate my family by force I had the allowed weekly visitation and found my son unable to talk, crying and he screamd "ask her what she did" - I reported that and several other instances, as much as I was able to talk about. The foster home retaliated and with the soail worker they reduced out visitation to one hour every three weeks because I reported what I had observed.
I won months later! The most sick part of the case was that that instance was not documented by the foster home and still to this day nobody noticed. Nor the many other instances of holdings ... only 3 were and those were written in order for them to "show" how incredibly harmed my child was, he screamed and they sat three adults on top of him ... nobody stopped the social workers choices, she let this carry on. I have told so many people nothing can be done - this is how it rolls in social services. The Foster home wrote in annonomous reportws to the counciul about my children in the summer house - anybody that knows us wont believe it was my children described ... nobody investigated if it was true people just believe claims.
The price for my complaint was that they reduced our visitation from one hour a week to 1 hour every three weeks. Right as we went to court - if I was not shaken up before I was certainly then. Right before Xmas we had no idea when we would see eachother again ... nor how to get gifts to the children. We got visitation weeks later. Fear, the worst thing is to scare parents and chidlren with not seeing eachother again - do as we say or ... I certainly got he message. But, I am also the person that must protect my children - it's up to me how. And their power since we are the only witnesses is a pwer they know how to use.
Xmas 2013 our visitations were cancelled without notice and for no reason! Not once in all this time the obeservation ladies had stopped our time or reprimandend our conversations or warned us -it was done solely by the social worker for no reason other than her case in court. The sick part was they wrote stuff in the report were, if I did complain it could be argued as a misunderstadning or used against us depending on the reader and the readers imagination.
Just before I got the letter I saw the children, and eventhoug we had a set date 3 weeks later I took their presents. On my way over I had bought an paper origami tree, just for fun. And a good thing since when I got there the room was not decorated except for a candle. I had also taken their presents with me that day - not even aware of the fact I was going to miss the next visitation, but I wanted to make sure "just incase" it snows and partly because we had that experience the year before where I had to fight to be able to deliver presents. Where they cancelled taking me to court to try and reduce visitation, phone time ect. The court did not change visitation they actually extended but the social worker refused to allow us the hour on the 21. dec as was planned a year before - visitation gets revied once a year, depending on what the courts rule.
We did not see eachother until january days after my sons birthday, another sad fact where foster kids are not allowed to see family ontheir birthday unless the social worker allows that. He is not his sister was and the pain in his voice when he tells me he knows he is not her and that it is unfair cannot be explained. So that day where I had 15 minutes to prepare a lonely party and spendt the time removing xmas decorations midt january was documented very nicely. The pain i felt inside was excrutiating ... having to tidy up xmas midt january when they had nothing appropriate for us in december. The worst part was that his sister was allowed to see me an hour every other week - alone and for xmas, as she had been allowed to have hvisitation changed so we could celebrate her birthday ect. While my son is tortured - as he needs portection BUT what kind of protection is THIS? Emotionally it's not expainable.
It has taken two years for us to be allowed to see eachother 1½ hours every three weeks - starting monday. The court had ruled this in february but the socialworker took us to court once more, and just before our case has to be revieved she gave us an half hour more. His sister was moved home some months back - failure to thrive in foster care? She was heard by her psychologist and her school was worried - my son is totaly "in care" also in a special foster care school ...
Nobody knows about those kids unless money is collected at Xmas time - please do not give money, presents to Foster Care. Support your agency of choice or http://againstchildtrafficking.org and do this with the knowledge that the foster homes earn between 38 000kr and 100 000 kr per month. They shoudl be able to afford clothes, and presents ... or give the money to collections for parents in need. But don't fall for the sad foster child story ... start looking at their methods with the disgust it deserves: Using a childs story to "collect" goods ... that is a disgrace.