fredag den 17. april 2015

Groundhog Day .... jup .... it's today

The question is what is going on. After the psychologist tested him, and after everything that has happened he fit's the profile of a self "fullfilling profecy" where all the labels given now match ... really sad since not too long ago (3½ years in the system is not long at all) he was part of a class, loved his school and did the things a normal boy does - except read and write like his peers. After a year of homeschooling he just started to write, learned to read and was so proud of himself. I remmember how happy he was taking all the words off his "reading wall" and the very last word he put down was "HAPPY" (Glad in Danish ... ).We were moving to a house and he knew that meant he could get a dog! Something he wanted for many years ...

He was soooo proud of himself, and looking back to just a year before where he drew a picture that just said it all about being bullied. Bullied because he at the age of 9 could not advocate for his reading and writing disability. Bullied because he was a victom of a teacher that talked too much and did not do enough in the class.

Bullied because of a "new" situation where the children he was with just did to him what had been done to them.

And the teacher did not have the skills to intervene - her talking, using "adult" bully techniques where she humiliated children, threw them out of class (by force) and screamed at them - basically - not coping - directly resulted in a sad situation. Nobody stopped her, the reports about her behaviour was unnoticed. Yet, not quite - parents left and she segregated the fast learners explaingin that this will give the slower ones incentive to joing the group ... not wanting to be "outsiders". She was so wrong cos her class was made up of the "misfits". She did not fess up, basically because she felt what she was doing was "oki" and was the stronger party. Very "convincing" to the school psychologist that a kid, with a known LD and loads of empathy was the "monster".

Even after relentlessy being bullied my son drew this picture of what he wanted to happen to his bully. 1. Step in a poop 2. Snakebite 3. Read a boring book and 4. That it rained ... all in all his idea of "How to really have the worst possible day". And this was his best retaliation ... after being kicked, hit and put through stuff I still have a hard time tlking about.

Kids are just kids - they have no idea of "consequens" and will later in life (if they remember) feel quite bad about their actions, sadly some will carry on and bully co workers, ect. Others will fight off bullies and protect children. He was standing up for himself like he was taught from home ...

How the psychologist missed this - and without video capture and even with several complaints about this teacher, how she believed this teacher considring the evidence I will never really "quite" understand.

But "SOBEIT". I know my kid. I believe in him and now they have explainging to do ... today is #GroundHogDay. We have been here before ... where we were accused, blamed and worst of all: We were not heard, meaning my child became invisible - just to end up in the wrong placement and blamed for the decisions of other adults - the profesionals. Placing a dyslexic "Gifted" child as emotionally desturbed ... how much sadder can a story become?

So basically we are here: And guess who get's the blame? I am blamed eventhough I had protested (not in front of my child, but to the socialworker, at complaints board, in court). And de ja vu? We had tried this ... 2007, 2009, 2011 ... although in 2011 when we got this school psychologist, and just before the case went nuts, we had the perfect school solution! Now we are "starting over".

I am not blaming her, but the situation. Trust me we had made appropriate "accomodations", gave out warnings and explained "the new teacher does not know what to do". So here we are - and I wonder how many "placements" this socialworker will put my child through? While wishing we had "a behaviour capture" camara - cos see in 2007 it was the filming that "pointed out" where the problem was ... and it was not my kid, it was his "aide" and "surroundings".

School changes were made and he mastered his worst enemy. Letters ...and then words. He loves a good story, but letters made any story miserable.

And now his poem made so much more sense. Just read the poem he wrote when he realised he was just not learning the words as his peers ... he drew the picture being the copy artist he is ... while being unable to write / draw from memory. That's just the way his brain works - and shown clearly with processing speed disorder.

Somehow he did not process stuff as fast as his needed, and we noticed but had no idea what to to about it. His teachers they had seen the secondary effects and that psychologist we got ... she "blamed" and when you blame a parent for a childs "disabilty" you are wasting resources. It's blame enough to have given your child a "genetetic predisposition". We are just born this way, in my family ... Gifted, Dyslexic and quite spirited. Our personality can be seen as rigid or innovative - it's your choice. 


Our new educational psychologist nailed it. Just as his teachers from before ... and as I had said all along and ended in court! Blamed for his school situation, blamed for him not learning ... blamed for "the frustrations" of not being able to place my Super Hero correctly.

He is pretty adept top advocate for himself. Our latest psychologist had a quality not many people have ... she listened to my kidlet, she saw our incredible struggle and knows the system - pointing out how much her own hands are tied.

He is not so little anymore ... actually he is a teenlet now, and today we need to get his education back on track - spending 5 million kroner to help  kid to learn backwards? What a crazy situation! We are not actually gaining anything positive from being blamed. And the case is extremely complex - there is no win when a socialworker refuses to allow our team we worked so well with back into his "school future".

So, today is Groundhog day. We might wake up and everything can start where we left off. Away from a situation not many grasped. For the wiser ones have realised Mentiqa is just a label - the parents make the school, if the parents make bad choices a Mentiqa School closes ... the Mentiqa concept worked and only more experience was needed. It worked damn well actually, considring ... experience comes at a price. When the people make choices, allowing treatment of others they never will accept for themselves ... then Karma sets in. Life goes on ... say stop when parents or teachers treat another child unfairly, and be strong even if they sound very convincing, follow your heart. It works out in the end - and our shoes? Nope, we would rather not have walked this path. So, today we take another step - a very determined step.
Ole and I talk about his cognitive profile and whether he belongs to the group of "gifted children". There's a lot of water under the bridge since Ole tested him - so we had a more general discussion on this theme, and where he stands today purely educational and school purposes. We agreed that we cannot see an  "obvious school placement".

However, I am in no doubt that he is talented and he should be taught in relation to his particular cognitive profile. He must be challenged academically - and there must be a school with structure, framework and predictability, which also must contain a degree of flexibility, in that he has some difficulties.

And that was what I could tell the psychologist from PPR. And she noted this. I have not seen how he comes into conflict with the other children and young people in school - but only had him one on one, and then he is able to learn, reflect and develop.

The knowledge and experience I have passed to PPR - that is, in short, explained his resources (verbal and perceptual) and his difficulties in relation to the visuomotoriske - and grafomotoriske.

Obviously I no jurisdiction to point to a school solution - but from what I've seen, it must indeed be an offer that can match his cognitive profile, while taking into account that he obviously can have difficulty they social relations - ie trust people and peers.

The latter means that his learning will contextual and determined by whether he trusts / likes his teachers and his surroundings.

Ole og jeg talte om hans kognitive profil, og hvorvidt han tilhører gruppen af “gifted children”. Der er jo løbet meget vand i åen, siden Ole testede ham - så vi havde en mere overordnet samtale om dette tema, og hvor han står idag rent indlæringsmæssigt og skolemæssigt. Vi var enige om, at vi ikke lige her og nu så et "oplagt skoletilbud".

Jeg er dog ikke i tvivl om, at han er velbegavet og han skal undervises i forhold til hans særlige kognitive profil. Han skal udfordres fagligt - og der skal være et skoletilbud med struktur, rammer og forudsigelighed, som samtidig skal indeholde en vis fleksibilitet, idet han har nogle vanskeligheder.

Og det var det, som jeg kunne fortælle Psykologen fra PPR. Og som hun noterede sig. Jeg har jo ikke set, hvordan han kommer i konflikt med de andre børn og unge i skolen - men kun haft ham på tomandshånd, og da er han i stand til at lære, reflektere og udvikle sig.

Den viden og oplevelse har jeg videregivet til PPR - altså kort sagt redegjort for hans ressourcer (verbalt og perceptuelt) og hans vanskeligheder i forhold til det visuomotoriske - og grafomotoriske.

Jeg har selvsagt ikke kompetencen til at pege på et skoletilbud - men ud fra det, som jeg har set, så skal det jo være et tilbud, som kan modsvare hans kognitive profil og samtidig tage højde for, at han åbenbart kan have svært ved de sociale relationer - altså have tillid til folk og jævnaldrende.

Sidstnævnte betyder, at hans indlæring vil kontekstbestemt og bestemt af, om han har tillid til/kan lide sine lærere og sine omgivelser.

Twice Exceptional Denmark

Twice Exceptional Denmark er lavet for dobbelt exceptionelle børn dvs. børn med særlige forudsætninger som samtidig har indlæringsvanskeligheder. Disse børn kan have opmærksomheds-, koncentrations- og kontakt- vanskeligheder som oftest er pga. Ordblindhed/ Dyslexi, ADHD, AS, PDD NOS, OCD, Tourette osv.

Det ofte set at Børn med særlige forudsætninger er af natur Asynkron Udviklet dvs. det halter med at deres emotionelle og sociale udvikling følger med det som ses ved jævnaldrende, samtidig med at de lærer lynhurtigt det emner de er motiveret for og ender således ofte foran jævnaldrende i disse oråder, uden sparringspartner. Børnene ender ofte meget ”misforstået” og en tværfagligindsats er nødvendig hvis sådan en situation skal kunne vendes.

Tværfaglighed bør bestå af en BMSF konsulent/psykolog og derudover specialister jvf. barnets specifikke diagnoser og andre problemer hver gang handleplaner udarbejdes, barnets evalueres osv. Men der er langt vej endnu, da BMSF ikke anerkendes i Kommunerne, og dermed overses det at barnet har behov for en ”særlig” forståelse og indsigt for at børnene kan få den rette hjælp jvf. Socialloven og Inklusion.

Men desværre ses disse børn i AKT forløb, heldagsskoler og kan ende i Udsatte grupper:

De unge, som kommer til opholdsstederne, har været vanskelige at placere i de kommunale tilbud, hvor hverken de unge, som kommer til opholdstederne eller de elever, der går i de kommunale tilbud, vil profitere af at være sammen.