To think we are in the same position with DD17½ in 2007 ... the teacher lowered her grade (this is not a blame nor complain post but to explain why and nobody was at fault except for communication) after not realising she had SPED needs for writing and processing speed problems.
The teacher was not aware of there was a problem, assumed she was "weaker" in danish due to us being "english". The teacher did nothing wrong. She missed the writing hitch and expected more, without the "pointer" guidance on "writing less is oki" but check assignment requirements for each part. Something the teacher expected my kidlet to do automatically.With processing speed lacks the automatic comes after it was needed.
But processing speed problems "glitch" with automatic responses ... when you least expect these .... I knew, but could not communicate that.
The fact that kidlet had not "picked up" the new technical lingo for part of the "new" technical danish taught the past 2 years seem impossible but it is basically exacly that we warned them about in 2012 ... I guess, now we know ...
(But really frustrated having to keep on advocating the same thing, solutions are not "we know what we are doing" then tests results that are depressed ... and finding this out 5 weeks before the term ends. When I allready had a suspicion sept, and was told they have it all under control, for all of us the get a little surprise like this - especially kidlet ... but hey she is used to lower marks for writing than oral tests and I have a bigger problem with the issue than she has. That's LD resialiance: Not a bad thing at all, as long as it does not cause sadness, stress or frustration. She is frustrated though since her pen won't let out the words under pressure ... luckely she knows it's just a glitch. What I need to find is a glitch solution ... one we can implement ... that actually works and works for her. I have mine in place ... she needs hers. So far, I failed epically but then again I had to realise what I was looking at!)
Now, the saddest part is focus is on getting kids "actually" failing through and not making accomodations for DD. 8 years of this and I wonder why schools that always bitch about grades still don't realise that kids like her, actually show paths for the ones failing due to the exact same "unsolved problem".
I am so wishing for a time where real educational psychology will be a part of school teachers and admins educations again ... they sure spend enough time and money on teaching he signs and psychology of parenting deficits when indeed it is an well masked advocacy deficit. And then more time is wasted on parental evaluations that end up as "blame games". Wsting my time while everything we worked double for get's lost in the process makes me frustrated.
#dyslexia due to processing disorder masked by high potential ...
As for DS13 the meeting is friday. The new psychologist loves his personality, feels he is wronged and at the same time "feels" it appropriate to test 'me' with tests made for people with diagnosesis.
I wonder if I should humour her ... give her 3-4 sets of replies dated ...
- before gifted school with sped services,
- after gifted school with sped services,
- back to home schooling due to sped services cancelled by socialworker ....
- and the last report stating how our "new" school psychologist "decided" to do a foster care placement - so the cases stress could be reduced - ended with a "in foster care hell" where it took them 2 years, 4 different placements, based on an outlyer test being interpreted as they needed. Heaven forbid how that would be judged ... #NotLaughing #Serious #wontdare
But I have good cards on my hand. New testing shows that the test indeed was "off" so we are back on track.
It took 2½ year in the system to get a new evaluation, and the "state" psychologist was "actually" the stick in the mud. Luckely they hired a private one ... and it was total luck since I did not know her ... wince she recognised what she was looking at.
Sadly, unless miracles happen we cannot keep her. The socialworker has had a "nack" of firing people that "worked well for us". The problem is the foster homes "clientel" is diagnosed up to their ears. The fact that my child "only" wants to come home. And them "not" being able to teach him anything ... is a sad truth for most kids in care.
This compared to "two" gifted school placements with SPED in place and homeschooling actually gave him enough, so that when they first evaluated his school abilities they placed him somehow in grades 6-8 with noteble reading and writing problems. They however, missed him so badly due to "inexperience" that after a year he had regressed to 4th grade. But, even with tht he tested, after 1½ years later and showed a remarkable IQ score even when they could not teach him.
The 2½ years of placement he actually had no PC, very little to do and survived on something the psychologist cannot grasp: And asked me to tell her "HOW did he dio it".
The GT Specialist said oki for ... radical acceleration ... they will have three fits when those words get uttered. Considring I was in court in august where the court punked me on just that issue ... heaven only knows what will happen!
But, his perceptual reasoning is off charts (the psychologist has not been given permission to come back with and use the extended wisc as needed, as she should when cielings are hit in the WISC IV and now its too late.) And, she also needed more evaluations to adress his "processing speed problems". With more testing kidlet won't like her anymore, he does not enjoy testing or observations. He actually was super at telling all of us that ... when he was at home ... and three people watched us "being together" since all visitation is supervised
(To think I said it all the time and the socialworker is denying us services even after several psychologists "see" a similar problem? She has indeed implemented beahvioural therapy for behaviours caused by an "off" placement, and I got blamed for that it all got worse - also in court?)
The psychologist also asked me how come he did not go crazy through all this. So I told her ... he lives each day finding something fun to do ... we had been through bad placements before ... he had skills for that.
I cracked several times walking this walk ... it's not by any means fair. What I did not ask her that day was if this makes me a basketcase ... but now after her test suggestions ... I would really have to figure out how to get her to explain ... "Why she is giving me tests for "psychiatric diagnosed patients" and not screening me, referring me for diagnoses before wanting me to fill out the tests ... forms that are usually only applicable for people that have been diagnosed.
I don't really mind but the Psykiatrist has cleared me from "a diagnoses" and very clearly wrote to them that we absolutely must get the SPED support for my son ... nobody seemed to note those results ... just like they still ahve not realised it's taken them two long years to "figure out" and write up the exact "problem" our wonderfull Gifted school with SPED in place had written about DD10!
I am thankfull the psykiatrist saw through the explotion and just commented my rigid personality ;) that is the personality that my children also inherited. They just deal with cultural / school issues better than a frustrated mother. And that's not their job to do ... so this is about time I again stipulate:
I have said this once, and many times since: I did not want my children in the middle of adult choices, and insist the psychologist joins us to represent my childs interests. And another consultand that knows how to deal with ++PRI
See, the psychologist has actually seen my child and he stick in the mud psychologist pulling all the strings since 2011 has never even bothered to talk to him apart from "one" very unplanned meeting in 2011 where she in writing stated she is not available for his case. And at the same time she decided he was a foster care candidate - she got a stern reprimand from her boss, but the bosses boss gave her the go ahead!
The fact that she placed him, now the fourth time, agains her collegues test results (two other psychologists and a third watching), without seeing the effect of all of this ... shows how cruel people in charge can be. The problem is the socialworker believes her and not anybody else ... the socialworker only gets info "translated" by her. And she is in charge.
The social worker is also the one that refuses ... our great SPED teamleader we used to have, and this is the second new teamleader, socialworker ect. No court allowed us that bit - the courts just blamed me for the mess. Blaming is so easy ... the judge had no other choice due to the paperwork and deficits. The judge saw no "hope" of any solution and did not believe that my kid before all this actually went to school like a "normal" kid. But then agian the socialworker forgot to mention all of this and only "allowed" paperwork precisely against Principafgørelse 159-12 stipulations. Actually, I have told them this and this was the decisions made due to our case handled wrongly in 2009/10 ... this is actually a case where we principally proved the following:
"A municipality may delegate certain procedural steps in the preparation of a children's academic study to a another actor, as long as the other player does not influence the decision process and decision final content." (Google translate directly for link http://www.co-sea.dk/files/CO-Søfart/Diverse/Ankestyrelsen/2012/159.pdf)
And somhow the horrors of our case just got repeated and alot more complex.
Socialworkers and Gifted ... is a really really bad combination. And bully teachers use the system to get themselves off the hook ... this bully and her collegues ruined one of the leading schools for Gifted and SPED in Scandanavia. But that they do not even realise, the parents were "puppets", luckely they did not loose too much money this time round. The ones that realised got themselves out, saving their children ... I had no Plan B so after asking for a new Plan A I have had no choice but to stand up for our rights.
The systems psychologist has only the "oppertunities" like she always has had. Now, without the school, ... those are ... no Gifted Services, and especially no SPED before the child is "failing".
My kidlet is learning backwards no actually he is failing now and before all this he was two years ahead for his age he is now two years behind ... regression or stagnation - it's easy to see if you followed his story. And now "that" they believe "this" is a new reason for Foster Placement ... he was was definatly not stagnating before placement ... sadly they only see "latest results" and the socialworker interprets it all as "small steps forward" since that's what she has learned.
We certainly need a 2e policy in my country, hometown - and right now we need something we don't have - the choices are being made on friday (or should I say choices have been made, I will be at a proforma meeting called dialogue meeting to be informed as they ahve always done and in the same way I met this system of scholastic palcements in 2008) I have been here before ... this time I got all the needed paperwork ready ... the socialworker chose to lie to the "sped board" and "complaints board" ... not me. I let her lie - it was the only back door I had. I had no other plan. Now we are, due to a number on a paper, back on track. Just proving ... numbers do not allways work.
Our new Plan A is radical acceleration with Gifted SPED
This might just be given as a solution on friday but i dount that ... see we need specialists as I have said all along ... we disagree on the type of specialist ... and blaming is not fixing the problem, nor removing the blamed part.
Plan B is we have to go via the paper channel - this time they have some "failure to thrive" and this time "we have paperwork" showing their placement was on the wrong grounds: Misdiagnosed as below average.
Exactly as they did in 2008, tried to do in 2010 and did in 2012. Again, in the same as case mentioned above case by "only" referring procedural steps in the preparation of a children's academic study to a another actor and their refusal to recognise the SPED needs and the pressure that puts on us as a family. We never moved nomadly, we moved for SPED purposes with my son. Or for work. Socialworkers know what to write, to get themselves seen as "savours". So, plan B is doomed to fail ... unless a few miracles happen.
This happened by allowing was the socialworker to order testing to be done without meetings with me, without observations at home, school ... she certainly failed epically placing him in fostercare in order to test claiming I will "influence" the results and testing him in the presence of a violent pedagog! The very same people were given no consequences by our socialworker that only moved my child after months of maltreatment. That's normal for kids in Foster Care, the newspapers write about it every day.
It just took us 2½ years to get a new test. The problem was their "refusal" to evaluate or allow my participation and overinvolving my child ... while blaming me for "their actions".
Sadly, the courts, boards do not accept "failure to thrive" as being other than due to the parental skills involved based on the very socialworkers judgement of whether the parent is cooperating or not.
Saddest is when another actor is used that, due to, lacking SPED skills create more problem behaviour and that in turn is used by the socialworker to "enforce placement". When a parent reacts to this "claims of mental illness" surface ... no normal parent with a child reacting to a sad situation keeps quiet unless they are uninformed or they themselves have no idea what to do. Blaming the parent, withholding medical/psykologiocal care is a very serious and very harmfull approach, especially when a social worker fibs about "help offered" that was never offered. She has to explain herself, but the system never sees her in court. So she can lie, write nonsens ... like seen in parental cases where an abusive parent cannot "make" the court appearances - lucky for us those parents are now stopped. I am looking forward to socialworkers being put on the witness stand as parents. Very few, only the most calous of them actually lie in court - others can just be uninformed. But, being uninformed is no excuse - it's their job to know a case and all the parts of a case.
It is in fact not parenting skills I need, but advocacy skills. Who can learn anything under this amount of stress (to think they claim foster care placement relieves stress on a family - they obviously should try their own medicine)
And now proven agin we really need a whole SPED team that wants us and not the money they can make ... taking in a case they have no "previous" experience with as the "inspection board" warned the social worker the placements lacked ... not to mention that my 10 year old was placed with 15 year olds considring that they never allow grade skipping due to "social realtions" but allow the very same thing in Internal Schools ... double standards I guess ... not that he minded that ... he minded their "behaviour problems" aka drug abuse, criminality and sad sad stories about severe abuse.
That was no place for a child, especially a sensitive one with anxiety and LD (dyslexia and dysgraphia caused by a severe low PSI hidden with a very high PRI and this resulting in PRI > VCI ) a kid that also loves Pokemon (jup, even adults play that game), Chess, Dogs, Gaming and being in calm surroundings. A kid that absolutely loves a good story book. Making him actually quite easy to teach ... Once a math wizz that now hates conventional Math. A kid that loves working with and collecting ... all kinds of collections.