|beach holiday 2008|
|Summer 2009 outing|
7 years ago ... our school hell I thought was over ... we had a relaxing holiday after winning the impossible case started on 5 dec 2007. That was the day they placed him in special ed - one that did not match his needs but the only kind of placement the system has to offer. Ole Kyed could not understand what had happened since at the meeting on 28th june everything was "in place".
Basically, by then a one size fits all school was chosen and children are sorted by behaviour and not their sped needs. We were just not told.
That was also the year Mentiqa i Nordjylland opened. We applied but agreed during the screening that we will be better off in another "more settled" Mentiqa since the beginning years are tough on the kids. My sons needs were clear and he needed a more settled school. Her you can see a film about the school we chose, and the children there. It was filmed in 2007. http://www.webtv.uvm.dk/012633943081243
I was lucky then. With the little money I had (my pension fund) I paid for Mentiqa Hadsten and thus I found a school that suited his needs - not a perfect place, but at least he was not the odd one out. All we had was one report, two other psychologists evaluations - one specialist that was hired by the socialworker to "debunk" my nutty idea that he is indeed Gifted - she failed epically but still refused to give us special ed suited for his needs. Allready here he was asynchronically developed. So I took matters into my own hands. See, we were promised help, but ... it turns out they had other plans:
6 months prior to that day:
- the meeting ended in the daycare employing a marta meo session for themselves cos they had no other options and Gifted Children did not offer services to daycares, schools ect. The problem turned out that they could not cope with my child! I could, chessclub and scouts could as well.
- testing was ordered and even with carefull agreements that the school psychologist got ended up with her refusal to do a WISC as we agreed upon. She insisted on doing a WPPSI (WPPSI is for younger children, and we agreed he neede WISC via the Gifted Ed specialist, Ole Kyed that was called in for the meeting and guided her as she had no Gifted Ed experience. Ceilings vary from test to test, and within a test, from subtest to subtest. They also vary based on the child's age. The WPPSI, for example, has lower subtest ceilings close to its top age of 7 years 0 months. It is suggested by the publisher that gifted children over 6 years 0 months be tested instead on its sister test, the WISC. The WISC, too, has ceiling problems near its age boundary of 17 years 0 months. Gifted children over age 12 are often recommended to wait and be tested on the WAIS (adult form) when they are old enough, at 16 years 0 months.)
- the socialworker confabulated about school options that did not even excist at the meeting, and knew all the time that she had "something else" in mind for mentally challenged kids aka low IQ due to deprivation at home! That was her job, you see.
- the planned followup was never really part of the plan ... they had another option in mind, one I folowed diligently and to everybodies surprise "I passed parenting classes". The councellor felt she basically wasted her time since I was a good parent with a child that needed an understanding school, and we needed an excuse as well as therapy for a horrid situation, an option CPS did not approve and one where it again was proof of "neglect while in care" and not at the parental home. She was sadly promptly removed off our case. Meanwhile the day care got "their" Marta Meo approved with me participating once to see the films of him on the playground, it did not help daycare at all.
- do I need to mention that the school promised a one on one and that was forgotten? Hence I chose to travel 5 hours a day and pay for Mentiqa Hadsten. I gave up filing another complaint. I was just too tired.
Now, 7 years later - time flies and children grow up. Incidently I noticed that they placed him "again" on 5 dec 2014 - in the very same manner, on the very same date. No visitation papers, nothing other than a note that psychologist "just" placed him.She had not even seen him since october 2011 (no, thats not a typo ... she did everything administratively)
Incidently, this time is different. Everybody knew about this thing called Giftedness. See, what I did not write was that we due to unforseen circumstances with the school closing moved and got Mentiqa Odense paid for by the satte in 2010. Something that has never been done before. So, this time after failure to thrive, yet again due to choices the socialworker had made and where I was overruled I expected a different handling of our case. This time we had a history and 8 or 9 psychologist reports compared to in 2007.
The meeting 6 months prior to that day
- resulted in the socialworker being told she needs to reevaluate her choice of school for my son. She went to work as the system did 7 years ago ... I am heartbroken at the seeing the law used agianst us.The socialworker did all this with no psychologist, without the child being evaluated for 2½ - 3 years, with a child not thriving in the school she chose. She is aware of the psychologists report and promised me an answer in june ... the month where we normally meet to change my childs palcements for next year (aka 2016!!)
- and yet again a social worker "got away with" and refused relevant profesionals and convinced the sped complaints board that this was a case of parental neglect.
- Eventhough so she "legally" could not "exclude" me from my childs case as she did! So how did she deal with me? Basically she "just chose to use socialloven §69" thus covering her tracks AFTER she was cought out breaking the law. So, see she was reprimanded for breaking the Folkeskoleloven §54 - no school placement is allowed without parental concent. Our case had to be reviewed but instead she used §69 she thus broke a number of other laws (Forvaltningsloven §19 ect) and thus I had no information about the complaint, and could thus not state our side of the story. The social worker wins, each time. Is it legal? No, is there a consequence for the socialworker? Nope.
- the FACT that the psychologist that ACTUALLY did see him had said he was placed wrongly ... has not changed anything.
But since the complaint now is not dealt with via special education (another misunderstanding, thats gonna take months to sort out) they board only sees behaviour issues and does not couple that with a diagnoses aka dyslexia and my sons extreme slow processing speed as explained in june 2007. All paperwork they were told is in the case but did not care to read. I must admit I was clueless to what Ole Kyed meant, wayback in 2007 so I cannot really blame them. BUT I am upset since the socialworker seems to refuse to accept the psychologists evaluations of 2009 and 2011 while focusing on one report done in 2012 without understadning that the newest report in 2015 CONFIRMS the issues of 2007. And sadly they seem to be ignoring reports and school papers - just accepting their "own" internal notes that supervison done for the very first time in all these years proved to be a sad situation for my child! The fact that the socialworker even cancelled the psychologist I cannot ignore ... why is my child in care if he is not seen by relevant profesionals? At this moment I relise how lucky I was that he was seen and recognised because the social workers refusal to allow Ole Kyed back onto the case was confirmed by the compliants board ... and it was luck that this psychologist recognised giftedness, dyslexia as well as failure to thrive due to his school setting and foster care situation.
The Socialworker made the case into a parental noncompliance issue pnkt. 577, thus using the complaints board to make an illegal case legal. To think I won and then they just flip the whole case? Like this relted matter where other types of cases that are illegal become legal! Now I am wodnering what is she doiing since the report that sadly came after all the complaints proved her choices to be wrong ... I am wondering if I can complain and know our case is because I did complain. After seeing how they work the system - no complaint can win a case where Foster Care controls all the paperwork. Actually, the courts and research have shown that 80% of these cases are filled with grave mistakes yet only 2% get resolved ... that's how it works. Here is another case, not school related but one that shows how things work. Ankestyrelsen gør ulovlige sager lovlige
577. Efter servicelovens § 148 skal den anbringende kommune løbende
føre tilsyn med barnet eller den unge og sikre, at barnets eller den unges behov tilgodeses under anbringelsen.
.... lines deleted ...
Fremsætter forældremyndighedsindehaveren anmodning om at få barnet eller den unge undersøgt for egen regning hos en læge, psykolog eller anden sagkyndig, som de selv vælger, træffer den anbringende kommune afgørelse om, hvorvidt anmodningen kan efterkommes. En sådan anmodning bør som udgangspunkt efterkommes, medmindre ganske tungtvejende modstående hensyn gør sig gældende. Disse hensyn må vurderes i forhold til formålet med anbringelsen samt en eventuel risiko for, at den ønskede undersøgelse kan volde barnet eller den unge skade.(Vejledning nr. 3 til serviceloven, Ændret ved vejledning nr. 9007 af 7. januar 2014): 577.
and the socailworker as well as the complaints board forgot about pnkt. 458 where special care has to be taken when a child is seen with handicap so that the parents do not wrongfully get blamed for behaviour challenges and especially so that the child recieves the right type of help. My child is being treated by a socialworker that is ignoring the psychology reports in our case. And this turns out is normal practice! The law is only theory.
Why did all this happen?
This child did not behave like a Gifted child they claimed - not even the test results convinced them. Not even the cautionary words by two of the Denmarks top specilists - 7 years apart was heard. Not hen and not now. And the socialworker made unsubstanciated claims about my person, every single claim was debunked in 2007 and 2009 and 2011 and again now. I cannot afford a lawyer and the system pays for the court cases and not even enough hours so the lawyer can read the case.
The responsibility they say is mine BUT the system refused to acknowledge every single test, letter from the teacher about his dyslexia and not to mention that hindsight is the best teacher: The anxiety ... caused by bad child care.
Bad childcare not in my home, cases won fair and square got turned agains me - somehow the socialwrokers can intrepret "old papers" they way they choose. I worked with the system all these years until I realised this socialwroker was in attack mode. I was a victom og bad state run daycare, as well as state run schools where the official supervisory board failed so completely that today I sit here and say: How do people allow children to be hurt in schools, childrens homes and blame the parents?
Yes, they all blame me, blame me all you want BUT I was the only one to say something is wrong. Stop you are hurting my child and when a psychologist that actually did their job came round I was given an apology. I claim their methods are ancient and stupid - methods research has shown, including their very own research, to be extremely harmfull to a child.
Even the psychologists ALL agreed (except the one that did not do her job, got a written reprimand in 2011 and ended up being the person in chanrge of our case) ... but the socialworker keeps researching, keeps being unsure of findings ... she had her own opinions - those are the ones that count.
Always refusing to accept official reports, always choosing a line of action she felt was needed, where even the psycholgist actually clearly states: Handicap help NOW.
And, the mere fact that a school og youth home can have severe problems where parents are not told or warned ... and even paying such a school makes me sick to think how bad it can get.
Free school? What is that worth when a child that loves learning completely refuses all learning ... and the person they blame is me ... just becuase I warned them of what will happen.
I was not the only one - our spychologists failed in explaining to the schools what had to be done. I was not present at these meetingings (again illegal) but I can read. Not only because they were inexperienced but because they did not have the time to supervise the "classroom".
But the last 3½ years the psychologist in charge did not even bother "seeing" my child ...
A child that loved school when he was recognised and treated with care, has now stopped learning, stopped developing and basically is in the same grade as he was in 2011, learning backwards. His gaming skills are quite remarkable.
Except for one thing, no actually two things. He can read ... that does not mean his dyslexia was faked, I write after reading that the socialworker yet again wants to research if he indeed has dyslexia.
Him reading points out that the one area I worked with him on considring we only had visitation one hour every three weeks and a 15 min weekly call, considring he was in failure to thrive and worst of all considring they used that against me in court, before they themselves went to buy him books for xmas.
7 years is a long time with a 2e child, its hell when a socialworker refuses all applications for "experienced" help. Even winning these is the complaints board. Basically, the situation is so bad I dnt think parents should bother complaining. The Municipality wins each and every time - free school is now forced school. The mere fact that a psychologist by chance sees my child and her report left me bawling for weeks now - with no reaction from our socialworker, the fact that the home she chose was under supervision for breaking the law ... made me cry even more. The hopes I had when I read our reports thinking the Municipality will listen was shatered as I realised we were not called in for a meeting in june. The month they decide what to do with your kid in a years time ... so now he is stuck there. ANOTHER two years ... to think the system is this slow. No wonder children break.
Eventhough the same socialworker and her team knows perfectly well what worked before and what his paperwork explained they are refusing us all Gifted Education. This she could do by getting her second opinion, in october 2012 claining child abuse and taking my children into care.
That she could "with one report" and change the course of my childs education for 3 long years ... maybe 5 years. I would never have believed until today. An avalange of papers ... wher no positiv note is ever remembered. No meeting is ever what they tell you it is for ... I wonder if they are happy now that he is failing - no actually they are not happy at all, actually they have still to realise he is failing even after the psychologist spelled it out - they just don't have the experience and refuse to let any person that remotely believes me near the case. I cannot even do anything about it. And hearing people tell me to forget about his education ... so is the system ... while every singel politician is screaming we need to educate our children? While they claimed upon initiating the foster situation that it's to make sure my child recieves the education I was not providing (note, education is their baby not mine ... I complained and said he needed sped for dyslexia, anxiety, processing disorder) buit more so I expected them to treat him without the use of physical restraints ... like I do at home, like I proved was possible in 2007.
This, yes this is Gifted Education when the state takes over. The UVM writes alot about inclusion but we fell through the cracks, indeed we fell and we are still in free fall. It turns out this is the thrid or fourth time a psychologist writes its not my parental skills ... but the fact that I don't understnd the Danisg school culture. Yes, there is alot I don't understand ... in Africa we do anything to make sure a child is happy to go to school. Here, school is not a happy place and if a child or parent explains there is a problem Foster Care get's called in once you refuse to send a child into a Psychologically damaging school situation. But, I would never have thought that Foster Care, considring all the funding would enforce schools like the ones they have chosen the past 3 years - every single one was not delivering the teaching expected ... and his handicaps? Or Giftedness ... no all that is behavioural disorders due to bad parenting. The Foster Home nor School has seen any reports ... so what was the point of bragging about a psychologist? Why give me that oppertunity when nobody wants to use the reports ... in or out of care ... its just more paper.
Consider the following and the fact that the Court ordered the socialworker to evaluate me, and in turn my child, allready in 2014 ... evaluations that were forgotten in 2012 when they took my children. Consider this, as well as the fact that his siter was returned home due to failure to thrive in Foster Care. And ask Why?
When parents submit a request to have the child or adolescent evaluated on their own account from a physician, psychologist or other expert of their choice, take the municipality must decide whether the request can be met. Such a request should generally be honored even if very weighty opposing considerations apply. These terms must be assessed in relation to the purpose of the placement and a possible risk that the desired examination may cause the child or adolescent injury.(Vejledning nr. 3 til serviceloven, Ændret ved vejledning nr. 9007 af 7. januar 2014): 577.
|Epic Gaming in his Foster Home|