As the following will explain my kid never really stood a chance. His WPPSI showed he had no problems and tested evenly Gifted with a processing speed range at the 20th percentile. Yet he was not at all happy in day care. Actually, there were 5 psychologists involved way back in 2007/8. Two psychologists did the WPPSI and wrote the most horrendous standardised report I have ever seen, now that I know what these should look like and understand the language contexts of the report.
Yet not a surprising report, actually a standardised one often found for "Gifted Children" that end up with these kids educationally misplaced. Where they end up forced into "odd special educational settings" when they have behaviour issues not recognised as underachievement, asynchrone development ect. We have now tried every single setting Denmark has to offer ... and I can evaluate pros and cons.
But we sorted all that out, first time round in 2007/8 or so I thought when I arranged for a school start and where I ended opting out on my gut feeling: Not once but actually twice. I never got the actual paperwork until last week. And even though it has been 8 years this letter gutted me.
This letter and the process the two other psychologists used to "win" their case for the municipality. Actually winning nothing, but harming my child and not helping the school gain skills to be able to serve inclusion. Sadly with the power to blame me through their system, as it has been put together leaving parents vulnerable via social services. Everything depends on the knowledge a social worker has and the choices he og she makes. And off course the parents reactions.
I worked so hard for him to go to school and this really showed me why we never actually stood a chance, this was a shock to see "my gut feeling" was definitely not malplaced. Something I tried to explain and surely people knew, yet we were just thrown into the deep end and at some point we could not swim anymore. Parents just burn out, and I got sick after a botched operation as well. So we just had too much to deal with.
Having a school system that had no knowledge about our special needs, and a social system that kept pulling us back into the darkness was no help at all. Economically, emotionally we paid a dear price for something we had no control over and only made worse because I rebelled, because it was needed without me able to explain why.
Sadly considering our rough road ... the realisations come too late, and nothing could have changed the outcome. This as I am publishing here, I am doing asking people to consider we had been recognised as "Gifted and Asynchronous" even when the school psychologist lied to the complaints board it was turned in our favour by sheer will power. We were then forced through 4 evaluations over 8 years and many misplacements - but this was the very beginning after I had "set matters straight that Gifted kids do not being in autism class".
Considering we just graduated from autism class this year 8 years after we skipped that placement - cos a psychologist that had not even seen my child placed him there,with the help of two psychologists - one that evaluated him and my parental skills and the another school psychologist. Actually, I think we have dealt with 14 different psychologists and "only one" had Gifted experience. The conclusions were pretty much the same, without the strategies teachers needed, except for one time when his IQ fell by 35 or so points.
This process had actually stumped me because a teacher had taken the privilege to make me understand that I never gave public school a chance. She is a proud teacher, working her butt off in an impossible setting for sped kids, yet she needed to help me understand that I never gave public school a chance in 2016? Because I did not master a topic she expected me to just know? All parents surely know all the schools they have treid - but not me, since our case was complex and verbally I was "shell shocked".
She did it in a way that put me into shock and left me without the means to verbally defend my child, or even to help her understand she had been given the wrong information. After her "well meant attack" to wake me up I asked for the paperwork from "way back". I suddenly remmembered we ahd felt like this before.
I always never had the proof they were "sorting" kids in an unethical way, until now. Actually after that so much has happened and for sad reasons we ended up either in "Dysfunctional classes" by accident as well as with "The Misfits". So by the time the true level of how his slow processing speed works in class showed up, we were labelled, lost and he was left uneducated. Oddly reading paperwork I now see how they misintrepreted him and wish no other parent misses the "triggers" because the psychologists just had no idea about how things show up in practise. Basically he lost his spark for wanting to learn and it took school 8 yrs to snuff it out, yet he still learns but only what he chooses to making him basically very hard to teach. But i have not given up yet.
So here goes our actual placement after autism class was ruled out in 2008:
Our school has been contacted by mother has announced that her child is starting here from week 43. The school has been contacted by the mother who has announced that the child should start here from week 43. Following up on our previous discussion about the boy, I kindly request that the school, in order to secure his starting school the best possible tideles support hours as necessary. At the same time it is the case that o a which he shall have proved to be an extremely difficult class. There are a number of problems in class, some students with special needs that we at school of natural causes were not aware of and to make the problem completely, we have not been created 0.a as a 2-cultural class despite:
5 Icelandic students with essential language needs
3 Somali students which 1 is omgænger m / language needs
1 Thai student
1 færøsk student
1 Greenlandic student
Another 6 children described as being problematic, which make the class is very exposed. There are massive problems we are trying to cope with in the class giving The children social and educational support from the Competence Centre. However, it is difficult to do the job alone. Among other things, the class teacher and assistance educator are both experiencing job related stress . Seen from this perspective, we foresee problems with his start at the school. The optimism we had in August regarding his start in 0.a. is no longer present.
We actually only stayed in Gifted School "by chance" when I was given a 6 month dispensation that allowed us to say in our student accommodation in Aalborg, while the kids went to school in Hadsten and I studied in Århus. We travelled 5 hours a day - realising public school was not able to deal with "us". I had Bo idea that school would to bankrupt at The end of out first year there.
We accepted they really did not want us, and I am sad to say we were not the only kids that were put in a rough spot. As I see it now, all these years later and with the experience I have now.
It is sad when school headmasters are given responsibilities without enough information about what the children need, so staff and children are harmed. Blaming the parents for the child failing or expecting parents to coerce children is not a solution.
Nothing has changed as time has gone by, schools are still the same and psychologists still let kids into classrooms without ever having to take any responsibility for the teacher or school's inclusive decisions. Some kids are very lucky and get saved, by chance like my child.
The above school had no other options, normal parents do not care much for the foreign kids, misfits or Gifted crowd. Children with handicaps are also left to fend for themselves.
A teacher can only stretch as far as a teacher can. The same for parents. Classrooms are understaffed, and under educated because it is tradition to send children off to special education, never allowing them back into normal classrooms - inclusion is practised - but there is a steep learning curve for everybody. Sadly it is not as we need it to be for all kids to "fit in".
This letter was actually a wake up call and really sad considering he was proficient in all areas, socially behind due to some very sad choices professionals made ... and never really stood a chance in public school that was "exclusive" in more than one area. Our only option left is to home school and hope he wants to try something after a successful 9th grade. Changing schools a 10th time with "special needs" that could have been handled earlier is a very serious matter - and not many schools understand what we ask them to cope with, we must admit we are lucky we are still standing after al this.
Skolen er blevet kontaktet af moren som har meddelt, at barnet skal starte her fra uge 43. Som opfølgning på vores tidligere drøftelse omkring drengen, skal jeg venligst anmode om at skolen, for at sikre hans skolestart bedst muligt, tideles støttetimer i fornødent omfang. Samtidig forholder det sig sådan, at o a som han skal i har vist sig, at være en overordentlig vanskelig klasse. Der er en række problemer i klassen, en del elever med særlige behov, som vi ved skolestart af naturlige årsager ikke var klar over og for at gøre problemet komplet, har vi desværre ikke fået oprettet 0.a som en 2-kulturel klasse trods:
5 islandske elever med væsentligt sprogbehov
3 somaliske elever hvoraf 1 er omgænger m/sprogbehov
1 thailandsk elev
1 faerosk elev
1 grønlandsk elev
Yderligere 6 bøm beskrives som værende problematiske, hvilket gøre at klassen er meget udsat. Der er massive problemer som vi prøver at afhjælpe i klassen bl.a. med socialpædagogisk støtte fra Kompetencecenteret. Det er imidlertid vanskeligt at klare opgaven alene. Blandt andet er børnehaveklasselederen og pædagogen ved at gå ned på opgaven, Set i det perspektiv forudser vi problemer med hans start på skolen. Den optimisme vi havde i august med hensyn til hans start i 0.a. er ikke længere tilstede